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Church Bulletins
The following are actual church bulletin bloopers:
1. The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other
items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
2. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All
ladies are
invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is
done.
3. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the
congregation would
lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next
Sunday
morning.
4. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the
back door.
5. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which
the choir will
sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
6. A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
7. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and
community.
8. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet
in the Church
basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend
this tragedy.
9. Thursday night Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to
follow.
10. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the
birth of David,
the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Adams.
11. Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social. All
ladies giving
milk will please come early.
12. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the
church hall. Music
will follow.
13. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be
"What Is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
14. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First
Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
15. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for
testes.
16. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who
are preparing
for the girth of their first child.
17. The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed
potatoes,
green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal
feel.
18. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing
campaign slogan
last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
19. Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."
20. Don't let worry kill you, let the church help.
21. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we
have a nursery
downstairs.
22. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come
forward and lay
an egg on the altar.
23. The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of
the ladies
will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join
in.
24. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the
addition of
several new members and to the deterioration of some older
ones.
25. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation
who enjoys
sinning to join the
choir.
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