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APPLICATION FOR
PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
This application will be incomplete and
rejected unless accompanied by a
complete financial statement job history, lineage, and current medical
report
from your doctor.
1. NAME _______________________________ DATE OF BIRTH ________________
2. HEIGHT ____________________ WEIGHT __________ I.Q _______ G.P.A.______
3. SOCIAL SECURITY # _____________ DRIVERS LICENSE # __________________
4. BOY SCOUT RANK____________________________________________________
5. HOME ADDRESS _________________ CITY/STATE ___________ ZIP _________
6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?___________________________
If
No., EXPLAIN ___________________________________________________
7. Number of years your parents have been married
____________________________
8. Do you own a van? ______ A truck with oversized tires? ______ A
waterbed?
_______ Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? A
tattoo_________________ (If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue
application
and
leave premises )
9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to
you?____________________
_______________________________________________________________________
10. In 50 words or lest, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to
you?
_________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
11. In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
_____________________________________________________________________
12. Church you attend _____________ How often do you attend
__________________
13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and
priest/rabbi/minister? __________
14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers are
confidential (That means I won't tell anyone-ever-I promise.)
a) If I were shot the last place on my body I would want wounded is
________
b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my
________________
c) A woman's place is in the ________________________________________
d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is
_____________
e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is her
______________
( NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue.
Leave
premises
keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)
15. What do you want to be IF you grow up?
__________________________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE
BEST
OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN
ANT
TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND
HILLARY
CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
________________________________________ Signature ( That means your
name,
moron)
Thank you for your interest Please allow four to six years for
processing.
You will be notified in writing you are approved. Please do not try to
call
or write (since you probably can't and it would cause you injury.) if
your
application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing
white
ties and carrying violin cases. (You might want to watch your back)
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